Upon a Lazy Morning
by EHWIES
Summary: [Whoa, dude, what did I ever do to your pancakes?] CyBB friendship.


A/N: A random love/hate friendship story I wrote about Beast Boy and Cyborg. I actually started this and abandoned it two days later in April of 2006, only to figure that I may as well try to finish it just now... after deleting a page and a half of pointless filler, I finished it off with the final few paragraphs in late February and waited till now to post it because of INDECISION. It's not my best, but I at least think it's relatively decent—it _is_ better than putting all that writing to waste, right?

-

"Dude, you did _not_ just say that." The raspy voice of Beast Boy blended perfectly with the banging of pots and thundering of footsteps that filled Titans Tower, though it stood out slightly due to its immensely high volume. Opposite the fuming changeling towered the offensive force in the battle for justice: Cyborg, whose eyes were nearly popping out of his head in frustration. The pervasive breakfast war's most recent battle had been waged, and it looked like the attacking side had strong odds of winning.

Cyborg nodded his head in a deadly seriousness so full of irk that his human eye too had become flecked with red. "Oh, yeah, I did, and you'd better remember it, grass stain. Do you hear that?" He raised his voice in triumph, interrupting Starfire's worried clattering with Tamaranean dishes behind him and arousing the attentions of Raven and Robin in the operations center, both of whom appeared to have been quite interested in their respective activities before the interruption. "_Tofu was invented by the Chinese. Eating it is the same as supporting the communists_!"

Appearing quite shell-shocked in contrast to Cyborg's smugness, Beast Boy blustered for a few awkward moments before bursting out in senseless retaliation, "Well, I've have you know that humans are 'meat' in some places, too, so you're being a cannibalistic--"

"Who are YOU calling CANNIBALISTIC?" bellowed Cyborg, banging his griddles-- he had two for extra efficiency in cooking his beef-batter pancakes-- together as though they were drum mallets. "Tofu comes from soy milk, and soy milk comes from goats, so--"

Beast Boy laughed shakily but audibly, collapsing in a chair as to huddle closer to his beloved tofu. "Goats? Uh-uh, dude. Where did you get _that_ idea from, huh? FYI, soy milk is actually a byproduct of soybeans, which grow on plants. It's one-hundred-percent animal-free!" He proudly stared Cyborg directly in the eye, folding his arms across his chest in the most menacing manner he could muster.

Utterly defeated at using logic in his arguments, Cyborg scoffed under his breath, "Communist."

Beast Boy rolled his eyes dramatically, simply retorting in the same low tone, "Cannibal."

Several seconds passed in silence before Starfire nervously tapped Cyborg on the shoulder, biting her lip in cautious concern. He whirled, growling, but backed down when he realized who it was. "Sorry, Star. What's up?"

Quietly, she indicated the oven, upon which a slight trickle of smoke was beginning to trail from the bottom of Cyborg's pancake-plastered pans. "I believe that your pancakes have been burnt, though I--"

Cyborg's eyes nervously darted to the stove, and he gasped with a strangled war cry catching in his throat. "_My pancakes_!" he exclaimed, almost immediately rounding on Beast Boy, who cowered back slightly in shock and minute fear. "You... you... YOU'LL PAY FOR THIS!"

"Whoa, dude, what did I ever do to your pancakes?" asked Beast Boy quickly, putting his hands in front of himself in an easing motion. "It's not like you weren't busy trying to trash my tofu cubes yesterday, anyways..."

Cyborg growled in annoyance, and Starfire drew back with a surprised sound escaping her lips. She abandoned her jello-like substance to avoid the quarreling teammates and their line of fire, ducking out of the way and hurrying to join the others in the operations center. Robin she found to be tapping his foot and mumbling impatiently, while Raven was unsuccessfully attempting to lose herself in a novel. Tapping Robin on the shoulder lightly, Starfire whispered, "Do you, too, fear that our friends are taking their differences 'too far'?"

Nearby whispers ignored, Cyborg took no heed on Starfire's concern and snarled, "So that's what this is? Revenge? Oh, I'll give you revenge if you want it. Besides..." Both boys failed to spot the licking red flames teasing a taste of pancake as Cyborg edged closer, grinning with almost mad desire. "I could always _slip up_ and reveal to _someone_ whose underwear you were running around with on your head a few months ago."

Beast Boy's eyes widened to challenge the sizes of Cyborg's. "You _wouldn't_," he whispered, appearing terrified as he glanced nervously at the three not too far away. Cyborg had "accidentally" caught Raven's attention, and her thin lips and dancing eyes did not appear to be good signs. "I mean, that wasn't even on purpose!" Cyborg merely quirked an eyebrow as Beast Boy spilled, "I was on a sugar high, and it wasn't MY fault that it ended up in my dresser, and I wasn't paying attention because I was hyper, and you _promised_ you wouldn't!"

"He had _my_ underwear on his head?" asked Raven with feigned curiosity, setting her book upon the sofa she was seated on with a snap and briskly walking toward the pair. "And I didn't get to smack him for it?"

Cyborg grinned evilly. "Maybe now would be a good time," he said, smirking at Beast Boy. "Sorry, _dude_-- I guess it's just your luck."

They were perturbed by a sudden scream from Starfire, which was quickly followed by Cyborg's shout of surprise. Whirling around, Beast Boy himself yelled a moment later as he spotted the stove. "It's... it's on fire! FIRE IN THE TOWER!"

All was chaotic for hardly ten seconds before Raven cleared her throat impatiently, silencing the rest of the team. "Relax; it's minor enough," she scowled, black tendrils of magic stretching to put out the flames in an instant. "This is pointless," she muttered as the room fell silent, all at a loss for words after the drama had ended. "I'll be in my room, going emo out of shock over these two's amazing logic and the fact that Beast Boy's heard of such words as _byproduct_ before." Rolling her eyes, she departed, leaving Robin and Starfire to simply wait for the argument to start once more.

After a second's pause, Cyborg turned his back and began cleaning the charred mess of a breakfast from the stove, throwing over his shoulder, "Communist."

Beast Boy simply dismissed the claim easily: "Cannibal."

Moments later, both wondered in vague awe why they hadn't burst out laughing until then.


End file.
